Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Just like new!

You almost don't notice the repair work, what with that camouflage tape and all...

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Vandalism at Hogwarts

Really, Argus Filch should've known better than to leave an unguarded patch of wet concrete near the Slytherin common room.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Toy Store Germophobes

It's an unwritten rule that kazoos are like underwear:  no returns, no exchanges...

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

The next best thing...

That might be what it tastes like, but I'm not sure what it really IS...

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Best business name EVER!

And all of a sudden, I had this strange urge to buy an antique clock...

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

No superheroes in Portland....

With surprisingly little media fanfare, Spider-Man's boycott of the city of Portland enters its 354th day...

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Watch that first trolley track!

A friendly reminder for all you kids out there--  wear your bike helmets!

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Great Retail Adages

The perfect name for a watch store...now if only I could catch them when they're open!

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Featured Listings

The case for using search engine optimization to maximize your positive reviews on Yelp.

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

They're everywhere...

3 Dinar for a Venti White Chocolate Mocha?  In any country, it's still a ripoff.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Enjoy Capitalism?

I guess some people just think that the world owes them a can of spraypaint...

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Librarians vs. Creationism: Round One

Apparently the debate over literal interpretations of the Bible has spilled over into the children's section.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Bumper Stickers Gone Native

Right wing stickers on the passenger side, flaming liberal stickers on the driver's side.  Now that's what I call "fair and balanced."

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Have Cap Gun, Will Travel

Any literary agents seeking to cash in on the next big thing in juvenile fiction should email me directly for contact information.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Home of the Can Man's Daughter

Now available from Battered Suitcase Press!

Every boy sees his grandfather as something of a legend, and Richard Petty Schultz is no exception.  His Poppy fought the Nazis during the War and notched seventeen confirmed kills before a sniper’s bullet left him blind in one eye.  In peacetime, the man survived heartbreak, cancer, bankruptcy, and a stroke.  Most importantly, Poppy Schaeffer built the Eiffel Tower, which made Christmas everything that it is today. 

But even the greatest of men have to die sometime.  Over the course of one hot summer weekend, Richard narrates from his eighth-grade perspective as he and the rest of the tourist-trap community of Christmas, Florida, struggle to come to terms with Poppy’s impending death.  A legend of a man who drew in traffic from across the Southeast by building scale replicas of French monuments using nothing but empty beer cans and quick dry cement, Poppy Schaeffer’s passing marks the end of an era for a town that has itself been dying for years, thanks to an untimely Interstate bypass. 

Get your print or digital copies now from Amazon, or add this book to your Goodreads account.  Book bloggers, please email me if you’re interested in receiving an advance review copy!

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

When Inflation Goes Wild!

Tourism:  is it a valid economic sector, or an invitation to runaway inflation?  You make the call!

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Lattes in Sippy Cups

We strongly recommend that parents prepare their child's Venti Peppermint Mocha Doubleshot...

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Socialized telecommunications?

We all know there's no such thing as a free lunch.  A free phone bill, however, is an entirely different story!

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Gender bias starts young...

 ATTENTION YOUNG MEN:  It's called discrimination, it's illegal, and it could happen to YOU!

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Smoke and Mirrors

Available NOW from Solstice Publishing!

Things are heating up in downtown Charleston, South Carolina, as a series of suspicious house fires have the Police Department on high alert.  Presumably the work of a serial arsonist, the fires have the entire city in a panic.  Only one man can solve the case...if he would only bother to show up for work!

The sequel to "Burnout", featuring Detective Goosey Larsen is now available for immediate download at  Solstice Publishing or Amazon.com.  

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Why grammar still matters

Intentionally imperative sentence, or an accidental misuse of the present tense?  You make the call!

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Astronauts: A dying breed?

This just in:  shelving practices in America's used bookstores are solely to blame for the declining lack of interest in our nation's space program...

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

The Executive Washroom

They never actually show the restrooms on board the USS Enterprise, but I bet they all have a screen like this...